Conflicts and arguments are a natural part of any relationship but the problem is raised voices, aggression, bad tones and fights that eventually result in stress, higher blood pressure and unhealthy relationships. How would you maintain the health of your relationship and at the same time let your partner know how you feel? Following are a few tips to help you.
Are you ready to keep your head down? Is it that moment of the day when you just don’t want to discuss things? If it is, then why are you even starting a conversation that involves discussion of matters of conflict? Begin a conversation over hard topics only when you know you can keep level headed.
What is your objective?
What is the purpose of your discussion and where do you want to be after the conversation? Do you want to have an argument for the sake of disagreeing or you want to let the other person know of your bitter feelings and just siphon off your stress? Only a discussion that is purpose oriented and aimed towards a resolution is going to be fruitful and will help you learn.
Know your task:
Learn to keep your argument brief and to the point. If you are discussing problems of kids at school then keep it there. Do not bring up issues from the past and problems from the time when your baby was a toddler. Staying in the present will help you better address the problem from a futuristic point of view.
Sleep on your problems:
While many relationship experts say that you should never go to bed when you are mad-the situation is not always that idealistic. If you think that you have had it for the day and you can’t have any more discussions without raised voices then it is preferable to sleep on it and put off the argument for the next day. A good night’s sleep is very likely to restore your mood and make you think right.
Delay your response:
Sometimes a person would pass comments and say things without thinking. Let’s admit it, we all do that at some point since we are all humans. When your partner has said something that you think is offensive, you must take time before you respond. Let him or her ponder over what they have said and let the gravity of the words sink in. It might occur that you don’t need to say anything as they decide to apologize and take their words back.
Speak your mind but not all of it:
Sometimes we want our partners to know everything that goes on in our minds partially because we want them to know how resentful we are towards them. This is not a very healthy approach as things like these keep building up inside and eventually explode one day. The results are not very handsome. Say what is necessary and think whether your partner really needs to know what you are about to say.